Shut up and listen!
Our team workshop showed me how important listening actually is…
Here’s why:
Instead of the usual "Here's the problem, here's my brilliant solution, any thoughts?”, my manager phrased it as: "What do you think? I'd love your ideas." The floodgates opened…discussing problems that have been driving us crazy. This is what I call a successful team workshop.
The meeting script
You all know the drill. Your manager delivers a monologue disguised as dialogue: "So, here's the problem and I think we should do X because of Y, which will lead to Z. Makes sense? Great! What does everyone think?"
Cue silence and synchronised head-nodding from people who've learned that "what do you think?" is code for "please validate my decision."
It's corporate leadership at its finest.
Why nobody actually listens
Here's the uncomfortable truth: listening - real, active listening - is one of the hardest things you can do (as a leader). It requires you to:
Admit you might not have the best answer
Let awkward silences hang in the air
Risk hearing that your project you’ve been working so hard on is actually terrible (sorry)
No wonder most leaders would rather talk. Talking feels like leading. Listening feels like... waiting. But those who are listening are actually leading…properly.
The Graveyard of those who wouldn't listen
Want to know what happens when leaders plug their ears? Ask BlackBerry, who knew better than customers asking for apps. Ask Kodak, who definitely didn't need to worry about digital photography. Ask Nokia, who were too busy being number one to notice the iPhone.
These weren't failures of strategy or innovation. They were failures of listening. Leaders so in love with their own voices they couldn't hear the market screaming "CHANGE!"
As Andy Stanley put it: "Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say."
And then they wonder why innovation dies and their best people leave…
The listening paradox
Here's what's wild: listening isn't passive. It's the most active thing you can do as a leader. It's choosing to:
Value discovery over being right all the time
Build relationships over building your own reputation
Create space for others' brilliance instead of showcasing your own
Active listening is empathy in action. You can't connect with people you don't hear.
Your challenge
In your next meeting, try this: Present the problem, then zip it. Ask "What do you think?" and mean it. Count to ten during the silence. Then count to ten again.
Fight every urge to jump in with your solution. Let your team surprise you.
Warning: This will feel deeply uncomfortable, but it will be worth it.
The success of your business will depend on it!